Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!

One little blip on my schedule today was to stop by Hannah's elementary school sometime between 1 and 4 pm, to pick up her school schedule. More of a "piece of paper with her new teacher's name on it" than a "schedule," per se, but whatever...

So Amy and I headed over there during a later-than-usual lunch, expecting to just stop by and pick up the new information. I had no reason to expect otherwise, as there was no additional information provided in the packet that arrived a week or so ago. Alas - my expectations were laughable, at best. I'll confess that laughing was not the reaction that I went with. My reaction was a bit more colorful, and a bit less kid-friendly.

So here's what we walked into:


Well, in the absence of my camera, this is as close as I can get to showing you the absolute MAYHEM that was taking place inside the school gym... Mind you, we're on our lunch hour, and it takes at least 15 minutes each way to get back to Hannah's school, and we'd already stopped by the house to look for my badge. (That's a whole other story, and another $25 out the window... argh!) AND - we still hadn't picked up any food yet...

Keep in mind that every other parent brought their entire herd of hellions to the school with them, and have now released them into the wild - letting them run around like packs of wild animals around the gym. And half of these families cannot speak English, despite the geographic location of the school residing within the United States. Another point of frustration for me.

So I got in line. It took almost 10 minutes to get to the head of this line, which I discovered was only the first of many, and was just to pick up some registration forms, to register Hannah for a school that she already attended last year. They made the mistake of asking me how I was doing. I told them they probably didn't want to know. They made a secondary mistake of inquiring further. I informed them that this was perhaps the least efficient setup I had ever witnessed and that I was highly irritated. One lady made a tertiary mistake of saying, "Well if you have any better ideas, I'd love to hear it." (be sure to use a really condescending voice when saying this.) So I proceeded to whip out, "Well, you could have sent out all of these forms in the packet that you sent us a week ago, so that we could have had them filled out before we got here." To which she responded, "Well do you know how expensive that would be? It already cost us $60 to send out the original packets..." Then what are we "donating" $15 per kid for???

So I snatched my English version of the paperwork and proceeded to fill it out - fuming and muttering unpleasantries all the while. Amy and I proceeded through SEVEN other lines of ridiculousness... Including the mandatory "donation" line where I wanted to slap the lady but couldn't because she's my RS Pres, the lunch signup line, the nurse line (she was one of my favorite people, because she didn't make me fill out another unnecessary form), the after-school programs line (he was my other favorite because he gave me information to take home and look over without having to fill out or turn anything in today), the emergency contacts line, the OTHER emergency contacts line, the line where I finally got the ONE paper I thought I was coming to get, and the PTA line where I paid my $4 that our school apparently never sees. Awesome.

Upon completion, we tried to exit the gym, which did not have another exit, so we had to force our way through the new sea of people waiting to begin the inefficient and poorly executed atrocity they called "registration." I finally moved some wandering and seemingly parent-less child out of the way by her head, because she couldn't understand my semi-friendly warning (in English) to move out of the way... By the time we finally made it down the ramp and back into the unidirectional parking lot, I was so frustrated that I could have punched someone right in the mouth.

After getting in the car, Amy looks over and says, "I don't want to be rude, but... you live in a really lame area. I was looking around at some of those people and... there were some crazies!" To which I responded heartily, "I know!!! It's like a bunch of carnies... with kids!" And they are reproducing with wild abandon!

Did I mention that I have developed a loathing abhorrence for Provo?!?!?!

My only hope is that Hannah will get accepted into the charter school that I fell in love with...

If I had a million dollars...

I'll admit that I contemplate this scenario far more often than is necessary and/or helpful, but it's so fun to imagine! So here's some of the things that I would do if I had $1,000,000 (after taxes, obviously!):

1. Pay off all my debt
2. Put at least $100,000 in savings (or investments) - to go toward Hannah's future college expenses.
3. Buy a house. Preferably in California. Maybe along the coast. Mmmm....
4. Buy a new car. I'd ask for Mark's advice before purchasing anything, of course, so that I'd make a good and informed choice. How else would I know what to buy if money weren't a big issue? (PS - Mark, I want a mid-size SUV type, preferably a hybrid or otherwise fuel-efficient vehicle. And curvy, not boxy - like a Nissan Murano or a Lexus RX330. And yes, I like Soob's!)
5. Get my teeth done. My top teeth moved back to crooked after my braces came off, but I had too much root resorption on my 4 front teeth, so I can never have braces again. My dentist said that my best bet is to get veneers, which can get a little pricey. But if I had a million bucks, then I could afford it, huh? And some whitening while I'm at it... Soda doesn't help with maintaining pearly whites, but it is delicious!
6. TRAVEL!!!!! I have an extensive list of places that I want to visit, so I'd have to carefully determine a list of Top 5 places and then plan a nice, long trip. I'm thinking Australia, England, Ireland and/or Scotland (to bag a man with a brogue), and maybe the Caribbean.
7. I'd buy some nice furniture and decorations for my new house. Maybe some Pier 1-esque goods. I love that stuff.
8. I'd build a glass workshop in my house, with a kiln, so that I can get back to doing creative things. I really like the dual-garage option (like Wayne and Stacy's house), so that I could just convert the 2nd garage into a workshop. I'd have to get a nice stereo setup in the house and workshop, though... I mean, who doesn't work better to some groovy tunes?!

And no, I wouldn't quit working. I mean, a million bucks doesn't go as far as it used to, so I'd really just make sure that the basics were taken care of and I didn't have all the stress of a mortgage and car payments, etc. And then I'd sock the rest away, so that it could start earning interest and building on itself. It's a good plan, if I do say so myself. Now if I could just find a million dollars...

I do realize that this is just wishful thinking, but wouldn't it be awesome?! :)

So what would YOU do with a million bucks???

Hannah-Bug

I know several of you want to know how Hannah is doing, and she's doing well. She really enjoyed the first week, while she was on the road with her dad. He had to deliver cargo in Long Beach, CA and Denver, CO so he and Hannah just took a nice road trip. She'd call me to report which states she was going through - Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona... It was so cute! Plus, she sounds really grown up on the phone. It's weird to be the one on the other end of the line...

Things got a little more "iffy" for Hannah since being back with the rest of the family. She's called me several times, wanting to come home. But she only calls when she's not getting one-on-one attention from her dad. And since his girlfriend, Lesa, just had their baby, his attention has definitely been diverted. Little Alyssa was born on Tuesday the 22nd, I think. Baby and Mom are doing well and got to come home yesterday, so that is good. Unfortunately, that left Hannah feeling somewhat less important, which resulted in a tearful call to Mom. She said she felt "like a little drop of ink... smaller than a little spot." I was sad for her, but really proud of her visually-descriptive comparison. Now that's my girl!!!

She said that she's been really sad that no one cares about her, and then she started feeling angry, and now she "has to work on her anger issues." I asked her what she thought would help and she said, "I don't know. That's why I called you - because you'd know what to do."

Did I mention that Hannah is 6???

We ended up deciding that she should go tell her dad that she's feeling ignored, and ask to sit by him while he plays his video game. And maybe even take a little nap while Daddy plays his game. She seemed appeased, and I'm sure she perked up after the phone call.

And don't worry - I assure her every time that she makes these calls, that I'm ready for her to come home whenever she's ready. And I remind her that I love her and miss her!

I don't have many pics of her trip yet, but here are a few that Chris texted to me:

Doesn't even look like Hannah...


Hannah at the lake

A video of Hannah playing in the pool, with her brothers.
Chris said not to worry - she was having fun!

Updates!

Hi All! Sorry for the long absence. I intended to post sooner, but my computer went haywire and wouldn't connect to the internet the whole time I was in Cali. (And since I've been back, I've been slammed with work and school!) Plus, I was really enjoying the opportunity to relax! I had plans to do more while I was there, but I ended up being content to under-plan, so that it actually felt like a vacation. So here's what I ended up doing:

- For the first couple of days, I could hardly turn around without falling asleep. My body was ready, after the months of sleep deprivation... So I got a lot of napping in at first!

- I got to see my other Mom and Dad (aka: Larry and Karin, Shana's parents). We went over there for Sunday dinner, just like normal. The strangest part was how normal it all felt - like no time had passed. Plus, BrAngela was there, so we had some good laughs! The food and the company was equally enjoyable!

Brad & Angela Rivers

- Another goal for my visit was to watch the first 2 seasons of Dr. Who, as I'd only seen random episodes, but couldn't follow the full storyline. Luckily, Gecky and Shana have those on dvd, so I watched both seasons. Mmmm... Love the Doctor and Rose! (both versions...)

Christopher Eccleston as The Doctor (prior to regeneration)

David Tennant as The Doctor (post-regeneration)

- Not necessarily a goal, but I did also watch a BBC miniseries, Cranford, and a current movie version of Jane Austen's Persuasion. Both were good, and employed handsome actors. Thank you, BBC!

- To satisfy another goal for the trip, I also read 2 1/2 books. Well, I meant to finish all 3, but my homework took up way too much of my time! Darn stats... (Which I ended up getting an A in.) ...don't worry - I finished the 3rd book as soon as I got home. Now I'm all ready for Aug. 2.

- And, after 9 long years, I finally returned to Sea Ranch! Aaahhh... Shana and I got out of the smoky valley and enjoyed the coastal air for 3 days and it was worth every cent! We relaxed, ate deli sandwiches (why are they so much nummier at Sea Ranch?!?!), went hiking to some beaches, searched for shells, did a little shopping in Gualala, and just enjoyed the peace and quiet. Here are some of my fave pics from the coast:

Outside our rental house

This little seal kept us from going on Shell Beach the first day. Argh...

This used to be more of a gradual staircase. Erosion makes beach-combing more exciting...
I mean, you have to REALLY want to get to this beach!

We call this one Bowling Ball Beach. Not sure why...

And this stinky, slimy mess is why Northern California beaches are different.
...And one of the reasons for my unnatural fear of the water. I don't like stuff (like this!) touching my legs.

I love the geography at this beach...
Must have been something big to turn all these cliffs on their side...

I'm not really sure how THIS got here...

We even got to stop by the Jelly Belly factory on our way home. Yay!

Wind-dried hair is not a good look for me.
...Unless you REALLY miss the 90's.

All too soon, I had to leave paradise and come back to Utard. :( I'm jumping back into the swing of things, aside from the strange freedom of Hannah still being gone.

Coming soon... An update on Hannah-bug. She's doing pretty well! (Aside from a few mini-meltdowns...)