Need a new daycare!

Two in three days - am I forgiven yet Amy? :)

Ok - so there has been some real craziness happening at Hannah's daycare lately, and I feel the strong need to document it somewhere until I can figure out how to approach the problem...

• About 2 weeks ago, Hannah and I were playing on my bed and, if I remember correctly what prompted this, she was telling me that I'm a good boy. I said that I'm not a boy, and she said, "I know - boys have penises." I successfully managed to hide the shock, and responded with, "That is correct. And how did you learn about that?" (Because I knew I hadn't told her about it yet...) And she said, "Nick at school took his out of his pants the other day and was shaking it around saying, 'I have a penis! I have a penis!'" And I said, "Was that at Provost (elementary school) or at Wunderkind (daycare)?" She clarified that it was at Wunderkind. So I said, "And what did the teacher do when he was showing his penis?" Hannah: "She told him to quit it. Then another boy took his out, too, so she told him to stop it too." And that was the end of that story. Mind you, I never heard anything about this from the teachers or staff at daycare.


• Last Tuesday, when I went to pick Hannah up from daycare, I started in with the usual questions - Did you have fun today? What did you do? etc... She said that she had been playing with Alexis (one of the girls that I've seen at daycare). I asked her what they'd been doing, and she replied matter-of-factly, "We were making sex..." And if I hadn't cut her off in a bit of a panic, not to mention the semi-shocked look on my face, she might have explained that more at the time. Instead, I had to coax it out of her little by little (after we were already in the car)... I said, so what is that? And she said, it's when you lick each other while you're kissing. I managed my face a little better at this point... So then I said, What do you mean? And she said, it's when you put tongues in each other's mouths when you kiss (and she made an "icky" face. Whew!) And I said that was incorrect, but I moved on quickly: So, how did Alexis learn about "the sex"? Is there someone in her family that likes to kiss her with their tongues? Hannah: No. It's a boy at her school. Me: Oh - ok. And so, when you guys were "making the sex" at daycare, what were you doing? Hannah: I was hugging a pillow. Me: Were you licking the pillow? Hannah: No - I was fertending (pretending) to lick it. Me: Oh ok - you were just fertending. THEN she said, but 2 boys at daycare really did kiss each other like that. Me (semi-calmly): Really? Who was that? Hannah: Cade and Kelly. They're brothers. Me: Oh, ok... Hannah: It was gross. They put their tongues in each other's mouths. (another "icky" face). Me: And what did the teacher do when that happened? Hannah: She told them to quit it. Me: And where did Cade & Kelly learn about that kind of kissing? Hannah: From their parents. They do it all the time. Me: In front of the boys? Hannah: Yep. ~And that was the end of that discussion. Egad!


• As a follow-up, I asked Hannah which teacher was there for all of this. Answer: Ms. Marni. Super - that's the same teacher that Hannah told me would stomp on kids when they make her mad. So I asked her what Ms. Marni was doing all day. Hannah: Just sitting there. Eating. Me: Well, yeah, during snack-time and stuff, right? Hannah: No. She eats all day, and doesn't give us any.


• Earlier this week, Hannah told me that she had the worst day of her life (again). I asked her what had happened - which I ask now with more direct inquiries... She prattled on about false drama for a minute and then she throws out that Ms. Marni had spanked some kid that was misbehaving. (Hold up! Not ok!) So I asked, Does this happen often? Hannah: Yeah. Me: Has she ever spanked you? Hannah: Yes. Today. That's one of the bad things that happened. And I didn't even do anything bad... Me: Well what led up to it? Did she tell you that you were in trouble for anything? Hannah: No. I asked her why she spanked me, because I wasn't being bad. And then she told me that she was just kidding with me. Me: Well did she just bonk you on the hind-end like I do? Hannah: No - it was a hard one. Me: Fuming in silence.
  
• OH - and last week - I show up to pick Hannah up, and the teacher (Ms. Daisy, not Ms. Marni) said that she needed to talk to me. She starts out by saying that Hannah had been crying all day. I thought that she would follow up with information about what Hannah was upset about, but I was wrong. Rather, she goes into a detailed saga about how Hannah had been a nuisance all day with her crying. And that she (Ms. Daisy) had told Hannah that she was a cry-baby and threatened to send Hannah to the baby's classroom, since that's where cry-babies go. And then she said that she would tell me all about how Hannah wouldn't quit crying all day, and she was sure that I would be really disappointed in her (Hannah). And Hannah had told her that she was crying because people were hurting her feelings, and that Ms. Daisy hurt her feelings. So Ms. Daisy responded by saying that she needed to not be so sensitive, and said sorry for telling her she might have to go to the baby's class. And when one of the boys in Hannah's class stepped in to defend Hannah, he was sent to the baby room to change diapers. Mind you, the retelling of the day's events was much longer and more disparaging, all with Hannah standing right next to me. So, when Ms. Daisy was quite finished I responded: First, crying is normal. And when someone hurts my feelings, I cry too. Hannah is a normal kid, with normal reactions. Yes, she's sensitive, but so was I. And there's no reason for her to call my child a cry-baby. (But I managed to keep from punching her in the face, so that's good.)


• Did I mention that Hannah and other kids are often told to do chores at daycare? And not just picking up toys... Hannah has reported about sweeping, mopping, picking up trash, etc. She's not Cinderella, or the Little Princess, so what is going on over there???

Keep in mind that I have never received one bit of notice from the daycare about any of these happenings - besides the situation with Ms. Daisy, and that was just to tell me how disappointed I should be with my child. No one has ever sent a note home saying that my daughter was exposed to some aberrant behavior or anything... And I pay over $400 per month for this crap???

This is one of those times that I wish I were independently wealthy and could just be at home with my little girl. Or, at least find some way to work from home, so that I could be there with her when she's home. So, if anyone knows of a good, decently-priced daycare, I am all ears!!! Argh!

Another one down... 17 to go.

Ok, friends, I'm trying to repent for my absence. I just finished another class at University of Phoenix, and have just my 17 core classes left on my schedule. Whew!!! And, somehow, despite the nastiness of this last class, I managed to pull an A out of it. Apparently I was able to respond appropriately despite the crazy conglomeration of questions and prompts. Yay me!

And now I have a little break until my core classes start at the end of next month. Of course, I now have to study for a math CLEP (College Level Examination Program) test, to complete before then. Which - may I add - I am dreading. My last math class was probably 12 or 13 years ago, and I was happy to be done. At BYU I was able to opt for a foreign language instead of taking more Math... Unfortunately, UoPhx does not share this view. So sad for me. Now I need to find some good study guides and schedule the horror that is a timed math test.

In other news, Hannah turns 6 tomorrow (January 24th), which means that I am getting old. Why can't she just grow up (a little slower than what is currently happening) without me having to get old in the process? If I don't get on the ball, I'm going to be the lumpy-dumpy mom that she has to avoid association with in order to avoid absolute embarrassment. Poor girl.

Melissa Cullen?

Ok, friends and family, I didn't know if I'd ever be able to say this, but I AM IN LOVE!!!

...Unfortunately, he's a fictional character. Drat! Regardless of the reality of his existence, though, I am smitten! And aside from the cold-as-granite, immortal vampire thing, I would marry him in a heartbeat! He's disciplined, strong, loving, affectionate, attentive, self-sacrificing, a good listener, loyal, respectful, chaste, protective, understanding, intuitive, and unbelievably good-looking. And you can guarantee that I will be looking for bits of Edward in future dating endeavors (which I am anxious to start having, in case you know anyone...). I'm not looking for some impossible "perfect man" like Edward, but for some of his specific qualities. Silly as it may be, reading about and falling in love with Edward has reminded me not to settle for just any guy. I'm reminded that I deserve a good man, and that there might still be a few out there...

And why can't real men be more like the men in books anyway: Mr. Darcy, Mr. Knightly, Edward Cullen, even Jacob Black...? Men don't need to be mushy romantic all the time, since that would make me suspicious and might get obnoxious, but I would like to be truly loved the way these men do. Does that even happen anymore? Or has that notion of true love gone the way of the 8-track and hoop skirts?

I'm starting to think that it might be a good idea to start requiring guys to read the Twilight series... With any luck, it would inspire them to be better men - more like Edward or Jacob. Plus, they'd get a good insight into the female mind, as the entire series is written from a girl's perspective. Maybe I could start a petition - to propose some kind of legislature...? Or perhaps I should write my senator... I wonder if the Foundation for a Better Life would be interested in my proposal?

The author, Stephenie Meyer, said it well: If we (women) start holding men to a higher standard, they will rise to meet it. In the meantime, I will keep looking for my Edward... (Let me know if you have any suspects!)

Ahhh... Paradise!

I planned on posting much sooner, but was too busy enjoying the gorgeousness that is Hawaii... And now I should really be doing my homework, but the questions I should be responding to are lame and they make my head hurt, so I'm taking a little break. Let's be honest, would you rather reflect on a recent trip to heaven-on-earth or answer this question: What was the impact of developments in the market and in economic growth because of changes in technology after 1815 (transportation, technology, factories and the clock), plus the role of the Supreme Court?

Me, too.

First off, you have to understand what an incredible contrast my little trip was. This might help:

12/19/07 - 9:00 am

12/19/07 - 3:00 pm

Here's a rough breakdown of our activities:

12/19 - Arrive and relax. Oohs and aahs over Hawaii in general, and Mark, Ellie and Griffin. It had been way to long since I'd seen them, and I was loving my fix! Plus, they have the cutest house. Thanks, Fin, for sharing your room! I especially loved spending time out on the lanai. I was like an exuberant sponge - happy to soak everything in that I could because I knew my time in paradise was limited. I'd been dreaming of going to Hawaii since my parents went in 1990 (if not before), but couldn't believe that dream was coming true.

12/20 - Morning at the beach - Ko Olina Resort; Evening in Waikiki waiting for dinner at Duke's while people were arriving (all 4 remaining members arrive today). Mark helped me to get over some of my irrational fears of the water. I especially struggled with the logistics of snorkeling. It seemed a bit suicidal - I mean, who puts their face under water and then intentionally take in a big breath? It was exciting to get over those fears, though. Thanks, Mark, for making me do it!

12/21 - Pearl Harbor in the morning; evening at the temple in Laie (I think). Pearl Harbor was an amazing and eerie place. It felt like a sacred and special place. I've always felt love and appreciation for our military, particularly the veterans of the early wars which always seemed so much more confrontational and brutal to me. Visiting Pearl Harbor felt like I was saying "Thank You" to those men and women who gave their lives both that day, and in defense of our country in general.

12/22 - Polynesian Cultural Center with luau and the night show! I think YUMMY sums up this day. Oh, and the food was good, too. Did I mention we saw The Hoff there? Check out Ellie's blog for a pic!

12/23 - Sunday at the Mililani 4th Ward. Then napping and relaxing to recoup after several long days.

12/24 - Christmas Eve (though you wouldn't know it by the weather). Morning at Hanauma Bay - more snorkeling! - and then a moonlit walk on the beach. Snorkeling was awesome. We saw some really beautiful and colorful fish. I couldn't believe how close they were - and how comfortable I got around them. I still had some irrational fears of the water. Especially after I got pushed into the reef and my knee started bleeding. Luckily I made it back to the shore before something scary started biting... :)

12/25 - Mele Kalikimaka! Presents from Santa in the morning; Afternoon at Bellows Beach for family pictures. Most everyone tried their hand at boogie-boarding, but our things were already washed and packed, and I didn't know swimming was on the agenda... So I sat back and took pictures. Hannah and Griffin had loads of fun digging and building in the sand - particularly after they commandeered someone else's hole and started building a little house together. Gotta love the innocence and joy of two kids playing together! Plus it was a nice change from the bickering of earlier in the day.

12/25 10:42 pm - Delta flight 1826 took us away from our fair Hawaii... Farewell Paradise. I'll be counting the moments until I see you again. Sniff sniff... (wipe a tear)