Lost in translation

Last night, Hannah was out playing in the play area behind our house and was meeting new friends - as has been the norm of late. During one of her regular check-ins I asked her about the new kids she's meeting. She informed me that one of the kids is a little boy named Ishmael. Without missing a beat - and for obvious reasons - I said, "Oh cool. Ask him if he knows a big white whale."

Hannah seemed a little unsure about this latest unintelligible rambling, but she was anxious to get back out to play so she tried to verify the question she was supposed to ask...

H: A big fat whale?
M: No - a big, white whale. (pause) But he won't know. It's classic literature and it's boring.
H: Ok. But I'm going to ask him anyway.

So she ran off to sweat some more and I sat down to go over "Mom stuff" (schedules and bills and all the less-glamorous stuff that we moms do).

When she came in for the night, and before getting ready for bed, she was recounting all of her latest (mis)adventures. In the course of her tale, she brought me up to speed on Ishmael. And she was quite smug about it at first, I might add...

H: Oh - and he does know him.
M: Who?
H: Ishmael.
M: He does??
H: Yeah.
M: (doubtful) Really. Then what's his name?
H: Well, apparently, he knows LOTS of white people.

Come to find out, Ishmael is black. And Hannah asked him if he knows a big white male instead of a big white whale.

Minor detail, right?

Well it worked for Duck Hunt...

I saw this on xkcd.com and wanted to share it with all my friends and family (Becky...) that still remember all the tricks that got our games to work.

Coming Soon...

Ok - I know that I'm WAAAAY behind on posting... Sorry! Life has been a little crazy:

• This Saturday is Commencement for my Bachelor's degree. Woohoo!
• Me and my roomie, Karen, have been house hunting since her parents' home sold. Also good, but a little stressful. Wish I were a bajillionaire... Then I could just BUY a house and call it good.
• Finished my first class in my Marriage & Family Therapy Master's program. It was Human Sexuality. Super-fun class, but I didn't write any of the papers. There were only three, and it relieved pressure to ignore them. Life happens.
• Work has been crazy busy... The July Bar exam is coming up, so we've been processing applications all day, every day. And being new, I was much slower, so I felt the constant pressure to be fast and accurate!

Plus, I've been trying to carve out a little bit of time for dating and socializing with friends. I thrive off of laughter and communication with friends, so this is an important thing for me to include in my schedule.

Unfortunately, all of these things have been piling up and occupying all of my time. As such, I've decided to take a little break from school - just for 6 months or so - to let some of these other areas in my life settle down a bit... I'm sure that new problems will pop up, but I'm hoping to be in a better frame of mind for dealing with school in a few months.

And yes, I've been stockpiling quotes from Hannah. I think the voice recorder on my phone is just about full... so I'll post a bunch soon!

Overheard...

Here are some more strange little comments from the last week, courtesy of Hannah. And for the record, I have no idea where she gets it...

"But I wanted to get in the bathtub with three penguins tonight!"
-This was overheard by the girls while they were driving home with Hannah. She was talking to me on the phone, asking me to get her another Penguins of Madagascar Happy Meal toy... as she's taken a renewed interest in baths (versus showers).

"Those are real teeth!! HOLY MOTHER!!!"
-This was heard while at Cindy's house on Saturday when someone stuck out his bottom dentures. No worries about misconceptions, though... He explained to Hannah that his jaw can detach but he doesn't like to do it too much because it hurts. (I'll explain it to her later... )


Then, last Wednesday night (Feb. 17), Karen and Danielle came downstairs while I was reading to tell me some of what Hannah had been saying upstairs. They were literally crying, they were laughing so hard. As I wasn't there, I can't repeat the conversation verbatim, so some of the middle parts are missing. And this is just a fraction or what was said back and forth... Even so, I imagine you'll laugh as hard as I did.

"I am just SICK of hearing high squeaky voices! (short pause) ...So I am going to stop talking."
-I think Hannah was hoping to manipulate the girls into silence, by example. The humor in her statement was lost on her... but not on us.

Jasmine: When you call people fat, Jesus hates you.
Hannah: Well I call my mom fat. And Jesus doesn't hate my mom...
J: What about ugly people?
H: Jesus doesn't hate ugly people.
J: Then why did He make them ugly?
H: He didn't! Their ugly parents made them ugly. (pause) My dad is ugly...
(more discussion along this vein, which I was not privy to... Alas...)
H: Well my mom is fat and my dad is ugly... (brief pause) ...And I'm pretty sure that's why they got divorced.

Excellent reasoning, Bug-a-Boo... And thanks for that. Good thing I love you!

More Quotables... by Hannah

Long weekends are great for a lot of reasons. This last weekend was fun because I didn't have to work on Monday - AND because it yielded SEVERAL good quotes from Hannah. Enjoy...

On Saturday, Hannah and I were watching a recorded episode of The Mentalist together. At one point, Hannah said, "I think (character's name) did it cuz he got all quiet when they asked him." After a slight pause she continued, "...which usually means, 'Uh-oh. They know.'"

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Later on that day, Hannah and I were snuggling and I started tickling her. Unfortunately, when Hannah gets laughing really hard she either gets the hiccups or starts drooling... or a fabulous combination of the two. That day, she opted for drooling. So I said something about the fluids coming out of her face... and not to get any drool or bogies (aka: boogers - pronounced bow-gee) on me. About half an hour later, I was tickling her again and we were both laughing pretty hard when she said, "I don't have control of my fluids today, so be careful!" Point taken.

**********

Also on Saturday was this gem of an exchange:

H: You farted on my foot!

(awkward pause... ps - no, I didn't)

H: Don't worry... I don't lick it.

M: (incredulous silence plus a shocked, perplexed look)

H: What?!?! I said I DON'T lick it...

M: (words failed me)

H: You can toot on my foot all you want.

Thanks, but no thanks, Bug.

**********

Sunday had a few moments as well. She made another comment about not being in control of her fluids while she was hopped up on sugar and giggling before Sacrament Meeting started. While I shushed her to get ready for quiet time, I noticed that a friend in the ward heard the comment and was now giggling uncontrollably. I felt compelled to instruct Hannah to get things under control before the meeting started.

My amazingly vague and slightly irritated instructions didn't help. Go figure... I recognized almost immediately that reverence was clearly not an option, so I was left to hope for controlled chaos and no cranky looks from the people nearby.

Nailed it. Barely.

**********

Monday was a fun day. Any day where I get to sleep past 8:30 in the morning is off to good start. Then, I decided to take Hannah to the store to return a couple of duplicate birthday gifts and to spend the money that Auntie Gecky sent. All told, she had about $60 to spend. She decided to get some new clothes with part of the money and then a cake decorating set and a little FurReal dalmation puppy that wags its tail when you pet it. She'd much rather get an actual puppy, but that can't happen just yet.

Anyway, we had a great day together just shopping around. We even went out to lunch together, which was great fun. The only down-side was the repeated back-handed compliment she kept giving me: "You're just so happy today, Mom!" I'm glad we had a great day together, but I wish that more days with me were happy... so that it's not such a surprise.

Amid all the fun, Hannah managed to sneak in another funny moment... We were driving through a parking lot to get to Chili's for our lunch date and Hannah said, "Sometimes I get a little nervous when other cars get close to my side of the car."

M: Oh? Have cars gotten close today?

H: No. I just get worried that they might get close.

M: Oh. And what would happen if they got close?

H: Well, they might come in my side.

M: Bug, a car can't come in your window... Is that what you mean?
H: No. I mean they might crash into my side.

M: Oh. And that would be scary...

H: Well yeah. 'Cause then I would get damaged.

M: Ah... Well yes, I guess you could get damaged, huh.

H: Yeah. And I don't want to get damaged.

I don't want you to get damaged either, Bug! I'll drive real careful... to keep cars from getting in your side!

Mother, May I?

On Wednesday of this week, I got home really late from work since I was I was finishing up paperwork to begin my Master's program. I'm happy (aka: terrified!) to get started, but I was sad to hear that I missed this moment while I was gone...

First, to introduce the pertinent people, let me explain that Karen is my friend and roommate. She has 3 daughters that still live at home: Danielle (17), Jasmine (13), and Sarah (11).

So, Karen was helping the girls get some chicken noodle soup made for dinner - one of Hannah's favorites. All the while, Hannah and Sarah were bickering back and forth, as usual...

Sarah: Well you shouldn't be talking while you eat.
Hannah: Well you're taking too much soup.
S: Hannah, quit...
H: Well, Sarah, you shouldn't...

At some point, Karen finally laughed and said, "You two mother each other more than anyone I know!" And then she quoted Thumper's mommy, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all!"

**crickets chirping as all goes silent**

Slowly, Hannah and Sarah began to eat again, with a little less vigor... At some point, Sarah either got up to get more soup, or she said something... Karen couldn't recall...

H: Sarah, you.. (stops herself suddenly and goes quiet)
Karen: (after a moment of Hannah stuttering uncertainly) Did you have something to say, Hannah?
H: Well... I was gonna say... But... Well... (sigh) Except I don't quite know what "mothering" means.

Don't worry, Punkin... We'll look it up when I get home.

8 Things I LOVE About Hannah!

1. She is still honest enough that when I ask her whether she's really sick or she just wants to stay home from school, she says, "Well, it's half and half."
2. She's independent, but still likes to snuggle.
3. She wishes she could sleep with Mommy, but doesn't.
4. She's precocious.
5. She promises she'll still want to tell me everything when she's a "teen-year-old." And I hope she does!
6. She's snarky, but adorably so.
7. She's starting to see things for how they really are without my having to spoil her idealistic view of the world.
8. And finally, because she loves me as much as I love her: "All the way to Jesus' head... And you can't get more than that!"

You're the best, Hannah-Bug. And I love you!!!